‘Shooting blanks’

Us men are very good at coming up with euphemisms.

‘Bun in the oven’

‘Going for a slash’

‘A little bit of how’s your father’

‘Hop on the good foot on do the bad thing’

There’s a 100 plus more where they came from. (see Gregology). We are generally prudish about issues regarding the sexual organs, so use euphemisms and humour to express a point.

There is only one euphemism I’m aware of regarding male infertility. It’s usually a private issue for men and could be interpreted as a lack of masculinity. Because, if your a man shooting blanks- are you really a man? We men would never talk about this to our friends, let alone on a public blog like this!

Azoospermia. That’s the medical name for specifically lack of sperm. Alas, it’s also what I’ve got.


To make matters more complicated, I am a practising GP, so I am fully aware of the causes and implications of my condition. I come from a big family, where as far as I know, I’m probably the only one to be infertile, although since we men don’t talk about these scary issues, I may not be.

We doctor-patients are the worse kind of patient. We know the causes, investigations and management of infertility, but for the irreversible causes, we are powerless to help ourselves. What a bummer!

As a GP, I’ve noticed a gradual increase in the number of infertile or sub fertile couples coming in to see a doctor, like myself. Often the cause is not obvious. Though nowhere near epidemic, there are definitely more infertile couples around or maybe they are more aware of the services available to them and present earlier?

It seems the one job, as a man, I was biologically created for I cannot fulfil. Because I am infertile, I cannot pass my genes onwards and as such be a biological parent.

But my infertility is only a small part of the shit my fiancée, E and I have to deal with over the last 3 years.

5 thoughts on “‘Shooting blanks’

  1. I just found your blog today, and I’m so glad I did. It’s refreshing to hear a man’s perspective. While my husband does have some sperm it’s not very much, and he doesn’t talk to me/anyone about how it all makes him feel. I know it must be tough for the men too, it’s just nice reading your side of things. Thanks for being so open and honest.


    1. Thanks v much. Maybe get your hubby to read too. Us men are terrible with being open. I’ve found it cathartic!


  2. Thanks for the frank discussion from the male side of infertility. Sometimes we women have it “easier” in that we are socially free to discuss these things and feel whatever the hell we want…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the comment. I thought it was time for a man to give his view, although it is the women that have to cope with the horrible fertility treatment.


    2. Thanks for the comment. Alas, it’s not in our nature to chat & share, but I hope to change that… slowly.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s