Locked out of the party


I held E as she cried on (last) Wednesday morning. What little hope and positivity I had was gone, again. 

It’s time to rest and ‘enjoy’ the now. E has had a terrible time on the Progesterone pessaries and despite no real clues of a positive or negative result, she sensed it didn’t work. But don’t we all?

I feel the weeks, months years creep by and as I watch everyone’s kids grow up, I get the feeling like I’m locked out of an exclusive party, where the key is a baby. I feel like a voyeur trying to peek into this world where we cannot gain entry. 

We went out last Friday to a paid exclusive supper club at a local bakery we frequent and it was amazing! Delicious food and good conversation. No baby or children talk. Is this what are life will become? 

Let’s hope not…

(NB: delayed post due to work and life)

One thought on “Locked out of the party

  1. Oh, that sums up EXACTLY how my husband and I feel. I am so sorry that your cycle failed. I know that all too well. I hope E is going ok, although I know it is not easy to regroup after something like this. My thoughts are with you both.


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