Sudden activity

I’m back!

I noticed I had a sudden amount of activity for my blog which accidentally opened up as I was doing some gardening and I was listening to 🎵Massive Dance Classics (circa 1990s) 🎵 on Spotify playing via my Bluetooth speaker, Wonderboom. (Deep breath)

So it looks like it’s been over a year since my last post and boy time has passed. Things have been generally good with expected ups and downs and difficult periods for me personally and all of us.

Our little girl is over 16 months old, she is walking (although a bit wobbly up slight inclines), can speak a few words, understands a lot more and is very sociable. We’re lucky to have a kids play area in a park locally- less than 5 mins buggy (stroller) ride away. Unsure how long a toddler led walk would take…

We’ve had a long weekend away where things came to a head where I was feeling my OH was criticising me a lot and my OH reacted to that and things spiralled. But we talked. We’re both sensitive people and the combination of hot weather, general anxieties related to fatherhood, work, family and life added to my woes.

For a while now I’ve thought about seeing a Psychotherapist to deal with many deep seated issues I have related to my childhood and currently in relation to my sister, but also past bullying and how I appear to not handle stress very well. I’ve had a lot of counselling in the past but Psychotherapy get to the core of ones issues. My OH is also planning to have some Psychotherapy for her issues but all the local ones are booked up. Loads of people with issues!

Anyway, what’s happened in the last year since the little lady was 6 months old?

Well we’ve been on more holidays. Copenhagen was particularly nice and kid friendly. Expensive though! The little one is fully weaned, eating and drinking fine but still has breastmilk for comfort and top ups. My OH has gone back to work at 12 mths and I feel she has been screwed over, but she is determined to stick it out, but is in two minds about the future.

We’ve had chats about trying for a second ie via IVF and donor sperm. On the one hand I’m like, how are we going to manage, but on the other, a second child would complete our family and be someone for our little one to play with.

We’ve had lots of to and fro conversations about having a better, child friendly garden, moving out of the city etc. (I’m not keen). In the end we are making our garden more child friendly and having some house extension work done next year. We live in a great area with a few good primary schools nearby, so I’d rather stay for now. Maybe a few years pre secondary school we’ll move?

In the UK, schools are about to restart for a new term, so the play area and other kids venues will empty out I guess. We have chosen not to put our little one in nursery and just look after her on our days off. It’s been hard work as I’ve had no downtime, especially as we have no family ie her grandparents locally to ask for help, but I love spending time with her. She’s got such a lovely and funny character 😍

🎵Old skool classic, Rhythm is a dancer by Snap is now playing 🎵

Anyway, I’ll try and update this blog more often.

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